December 9th, 2012 | 3 Comments »

What, you may be wondering, makes an advent calendar “bad”? Crumbly chocolate? Surreal pictures? Glitter that flakes off too easily? Windows that won’t open unless you use a penknife?

Oh, there is something much, much worse.

An advent calendar that does not have all the days. I know! I hear your gasps! But such a thing has happened to me this very year. Our advent calendar — which may look exactly like the one pictured above — has no window for December 7, and again no opening for December 16. And yes, I’m sure. We’re not talking about a very big piece of real estate, and two frantic, incredulous adults turned that thing inside out (metaphorically speaking — we couldn’t, after all, risk accidentally opening any other windows), and believe me, days 7 and 16 are simply not there.

Well. Let us move quickly on to a more cheerful topic, namely what makes a good advent calendar. A good advent calendar has all the days! And fun prizes and surprises. And I just happen to know of a good example: The Smutter’s Advent Calendar. This one offers something different every day — a book teaser, a joke, a prize, a quiz, perhaps — with each day sponsored by a different erotic writer or business. Tomorrow, December 10, is my day. If you can answer the quiz questions correctly (google allowed!) you could win a free book. But it’s only good on one day, December 10; after that, the envelope closes back up. So be sure to stop by, not only on December 10 but on the subsequent days as well.

I promise they’re all there.

That link again:

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